Actually, that's not completely true. Lido opened. In one fell swoop, we have been brutally deprived of a long thin Chinese restaurant and another shop that I have no memory of. The cruelty. Goodfellows (estate agents) give the impression that they tried to call the developers’ bluff. To non-Troon residents this will make no sense – if you walk along West Portland Street, you’ll see that Lido occupies a large site where several other businesses formerly had premises, but one small plot remains, forcing the building of Lido into an odd U-shape around the tiny office of Goodfellows estate agent. Since the Buzzworks management presumably shrugged and gave up, building around them, Goodfellows appear to have realised this wasn’t smart, said “oh bugger” and have now moved out to new premises about, oooh, 30 yards away. Perhaps there’s a less comical explanation, but perhaps someone had a bit too much Troontown whisky while watching a certain Kieslowski film where exactly this happens...
Lido itself is infuriating. I lose all sense of distemper and fury and sound like a gibbering idiot when I’m there. The food’s bloody marvellous. The service is excellent. The place itself is clean, bright and you could easily be somewhere in Spain (apart from the driving wind and rain outside, perhaps). It’s not that expensive despite the reports from the over 60s (Quote: “It’s £4 for a Coke!!!”. I checked. It’s £1.80). I come out from Lido feeling like some awful, irrational, blinded evangelicalist. Lido makes me feel dirty. Lido makes me hate myself. Give me back my boiled vegetables.
