"Fastest Growing Newspaper in the Known Universe" or somesuch, it trumpets from the front page - The Troon Times. Yeah, right. What a nonsense this paper is. It's the Ayr Advertiser with a Troon name. Current edition - front page, "Council Going Down Toilet". Pretty standard headline, and one, frankly, which covers all of South Ayrshire. But let's allow that to pass. Look! Tucked inside, amongst the crime reports from Ayr, Ayr, Ayr and Prestwick (sorry, no Ayr), a very short article about a square in Troon's French twin town being named after our beloved hometown. Now, call me parochial, but isn't that exactly the kind of story that is actually relevent to Troon (a town paper should have parochial stories almost by definition - yes, I know Troon isn't a parish, but it probably was once). Now, it may not have me jumping with excitement, but I would have read this with some interest, knowing sweet FA about Troon's twin town. But no, Ayr crime stories are already available, ready to lift from the other editions and plonk down beside the scraps of actual Troon news. What a con.
I'll give you news -
- A whole load Troon businesses are rubbish. Where's the article on that?
- A couple of Troon restaurants are now actually quite good. Where's the article on that?
- Troon has really quite an interesting history. Where's the article on that?
- The fishermen down the harbour. Can they not interview one? No, really. Just a profile.
- What help is there for tourists if you don't play golf?
Oh,
Cooncillor Nan is threatened by the Labour cooncillors because they say she said they said. It's about a leak. I think. Or something. But if they'd bothered to give it an article I might be clearer. They might even have interviewed the two people. No, you're right. Too much trouble.
Isn't it about time Prestwick Airport was renamed
Ronnie Ancona International?
