Sour Puss

Another thing - the sour-faced people on the checkout in Morissons. I don't mean all the people. Most seem to be very pleasant "older ladies" all of whom are polite, friendly and welcoming. No, it's those other scunners. The spotty young ones. And again, I really mean the boys and young men rather than the marginally-less-sullen girls and young women. I don't ask for much, you know. I'm not looking for lifetime companionship from them. But if I say hello, I want a hello back. not a grunt as they see how fast they can pass a blurred barcode over the scanner. And I don't want my shopping thrown at me - I bruise. And I don't want my change and my receipt crumpled in my hand as he turns to the next victim. I've paid my money, I want my 3 to 3.5 seconds to balance the bags on my arms, back and head before Young Cretin starts throwing Poor Mrs Next in the Queue's frozen chicken at my shins. You know what I do? I tell them how rude they've been. Staggers them that someone speaks up. Now that, surely is a job for one of the "older ladies" if ever there was one...

Food

Another thing - food. Why has Scott's not managed to bankrupt the other restaurants in Troon? I'd talk about the Loans Inn, but that deserves its own day for vitriol. Many of Troon's cafes and restaurants remain the last refuges of the bland boiled vegetable. And it appears we put up with this. I'd go on about how great Scott's is, but that would spoil my foul mood. I would get no joy in describing how they manage to combine great service, location and food. And it's not that expensive. Mind you, it's a short walk out of the town centre. Maybe that's how it avoids the Pox of the Over-boiled Vegetable. I'm quite able to over-boil my own spuds, thanks very much.

I suppose there's the Chinese places. They're okay (I'm not sure two-day-old boiled carrots are really that Chinese anyway). The Italian on Portland Street? Ai, ai, ai. Make sure you thank them for the table, it's been a real inconvenience to let you have it. And can you hurry up and get out, please? We may have FAMOUS people coming to eat here.

The owners of Scott's are opening a new place on West Portland Street. Perhaps they could accidently knock down a few other places as they get building? Even if it turns out to be crap, it would still be a better, more welcoming and professional crap than many of the other Troon troughs. The word "eatery" was made for these places. They don't deserve "cafe" or "restaurant". Reminds me of the people that call women "females"...

Back to the Front etc

Another thing. Troon, down at the front. What's so difficult or expensive about sorting it out? That paddling pool - who took the inspired decision to fill in half of it? Does that prevent half the drunks jumping into half of it when it doesn't have its half of water? Why can't we shove some mud and seeds in it and have grass? Looks like the rooms in my house I put off painting, I get to tolerate the absurdity of the half-painted walls. But then I'm not trying to attract tourists to my loo.

And the graffiti on the shelters. Has nobody thought of calling the local schools in Troon, Dundonald and Prestwick and asking if they have anyone there called "Big Davie" who has ever been seen canoodling with "Crazy Angie". Is that beyond our shared-between-the-local-stations policepersons?

And why does the sea have to be so cold? Is this the result of a Tory council?