Radio Troon

Much excitement at the announcement of the forthcoming Radio Troon. Here's the draft schedule:

0700 Good Morning Troon!
Early morning golf bulletin.
0725 Weather
Is it dry enough for golf?
0730 Golf Today
News and views on the last 24 hours of club and ball action.
0830 Woman's Hour
Ladies that play golf talk about, well, golf.
0930 Cookery
Some elderly ladies discuss methods of boiling vegetables (will be postponed if the golf overruns).
1000 Today's Story
A heart-warming story of old ladies, money and golf.
1100 Money Programme
Troon residents counting their money, live. No poor people will be harmed in the broadcast of this programme.
1200 Sporting Roundup
Pointless programme discussing non-golf news.
1201 Golf Live
Back in the real world, golf carries on. Shot-by-shot coverage of retired rich people playing golf.
1800 News
Scarey stories from the world outside Troon.
1900 Bedtime
All listeners will be allowed to stay up late if the golf overruns (dependent on nurse's permission).